Platform and The Force

I have all the answers you seek, young Padawan. (Advanced apologies for those of you who don’t like Star Wars)

Platform:

  • You need to speak to as many people as you can (the clone wars come to mind . . . Millions is preferable.)
  • Your website has to have the firepower of the Death Star
  • As wise as Yoda your blog posts must be, but also as pretty as Princess Leia (and all the storm troopers must secretly read it. Your blog hits should hover around one million.)
  • Your books should wield as much power and elegance as a light saber, and they should have enough strength to thwart the forces of evil. (This is hard to put a number on, though).
  • You should create your own hologram which says, “Help me Obiwan Oprah. You’re my only hope . . . For book sales.”
  • Your fan site on Facebook should include every species: ewoks, wookies, jedis, icky darth spikey people, naboo, JarJar binks (don’t know how to spell that), and every creature represented by the bar scene in the original movie. Let’s just hope Harrison Ford is your fan too. That will help.
  • Platform is greatly improved when you dress the part: http://shop.starwars.com/?rid=CPC. Although for me, it would be hard to be Daisy from my next novel, because she’s a missing girl.

And lest you think I’ve lost my midi-chlorians, you can salve all your platform woes as you watch this brilliant piece of cinematography:

Mary Skywalker, Platform Jedi of the First Order

One thought on “Platform and The Force

  1. Love it, Mary Skywalker. They say I have a high midi-chlorian count. I wonder if I’m to much of a risk to be trained in the Jedi arts. Do you think you could asses my abilities or take on a young padawan? 😉

    That was super. Are you sure you’re not the Obiwan Oprah by now?

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